No matter what I do, I lose.

I have really been struggling lately with what to do with Tank. He has been living with us for 4 months and has been driving me crazy for about 3 and half. I went back to read the post I wrote about him when he first came to live with us. I was so excited to have a big dog and especially Tank. I just couldn't understand why Curtis' wife wouldn't want to keep him. I understand now. In fact, I was reading about how he cries whenever Andy leaves and had hoped it would pass. It hasn't. He will cry for hours. Which can be tolerated until Lyla starts getting fussy and then my patience ends. Several times I have considered giving Tank to Curtis' parents until they could find a good home for him, but it just broke my heart to imagine Tank with strangers. You see, Curtis has had a really hard time letting go of Tank. Apparently he wouldn't mow his lawn while he was still in town because he couldn't stand to be in the backyard where Tank use to play. For Thanksgiving Curtis was home and so we took Tank to my parent's house (across the street from Curtis' parents house) so Curtis could see him. Curtis wouldn't come over.

But some things have changed. Curtis is getting a divorce. And I am sure that he would want Tank back when he comes home next September. I've thought about keeping Tank until then, but some days I can't see myself surviving with him for 9 more months. It's been a rough 4.

There are many things about Tank that drive me crazy. His crying is one. He also sheds like nothing I've ever seen before. I feel if I'm not constantly cleaning my floors then they are covered in hair. Lyla is crawling so she is usually covered in hair, sometimes from head to toe. My house smells like dog, and I hate having a house that smells. A major concern is the cost to keep him. The food isn't so bad, but he needs his shots, his flee and tick and heart worm meds. All of which cost money. Money I don't necessarily have when paying for baby stuff, babysitter, bills, etc.

All of these are valid reasons for giving Tank to Curtis' parents. Hoping that they will keep him until Curtis comes home. But there is one reason to keep him with us, and that is that Andy loves having him around. I have learned, after several atttempts, that I am not a dog person. I've tried and tried. However, Andy is a dog person. He loves playing with him and just having him around.

So, if I get rid of Tank I make my husband sad. If I keep Tank I run the risk of pulling out my hair. Which is why, either way I lose. So what's a girl to do? Do I pick my sanity over my husband's happiness? Do I deal with the hair, the crying and trying to budget in another mouth to feed and "person" to upkeep? I'm at a loss. When Tank is driving me crazy I am ready to pick up the phone and make the call, but then I talk to Andy and I just can't do it. Andy has said it is my decision and he understands all of my reasons. It also doesn't make it easier that it was my decision to take Tank. I guess I didn't know what I was getting in to. Curtis kind of sugar-coated some of Tank's behaviors.

It also doesn't help that Tank is stuck inside most of the time because we don't have a fence to keep him corralled. So the crying and dog hair are unavoidable.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.