9 months

Lyla turned 9 months old last Saturday. My friend Chelsea said it best, "She's been out as long as she was in." Well, not exactly since she went 9 full months and 10 days, but you get the idea. I know I say it every month, but it is so hard to believe how fast she is growing. I love watching her little personality take form. She is "talking" and laughing like crazy.

Some things to remember:
- Lyla is really cruising now. She walks around the couches and transfers from the couch to the coffee table. She will even stand on her own, but only for a few seconds before she realizes that you backed away.
- She dances! I love it. Any time she hears music she will stop what she is doing and rock back and forth. She also moves in rhythm, which makes mommy and daddy very happy.
- She is eating more table food. Tortillas, mac-n-cheese, small/soft vegetables.
- Lyla had her first Christmas during her 9th month of life and still plays with all her toys. She loves anything that makes noise and sings.
- Still sleeps about 12 hours at night and usually takes 3 naps although lately she was been taking it down to 2.
- Lyla is so curious. She gets into everything, but more to explore than to be trouble.
- She learned how to open the cabinets which meant it was time for daddy to install the locks.
- She has the most amazing hearing. She will hear sounds from far away and will stop and look at where they are coming from.
- Lyla has finally learned to enjoy her baths. She splashes and plays with her toys. This was good timing since meal time is starting to get messier so bath time is becoming a more regular thing.
- She loves to play in her room. She pulls down her books and plays with her shoes.
- Lyla can open and shut doors (if they don't close all the way). This is a fun game for her.
- Still saying babababa and mamamaa, also says things that sound like "hey" and "ya".

It's hard to imagine life without my sweet girl. She brings so much joy to our lives.

Nice shiner

Last Monday Lyla got her first major boo-boo. I came home from BSF early because I was missing my girl. We were playing on the couch and she decided to crawl to the edge. I think she was trying to reach the coasters on the side table. Well there is about a foot gap in between the couch and the table. As she reached with one arm, her other arm slipped causing her to bang her little face into the table. I just didn't grab her fast enough. It left a little red mark on the side of her left eye. The red mark quickly started to swell. I was so worried that she would end up with a huge black eye. Luckily it never bruised too badly and the swelling went down within a couple of days. She did wake up in the middle of the night (which she never does) crying. I figured it was probably pain from her eye so I gave her some Tylenol and she went right back to sleep.

But needless to say I still felt awful for not being able to stop the injury from happening. Lyla cried for a while. Biggest tears with the silent cry because it hurt too bad to make a noise kind of cry that broke my heart.

Here are some pictures of the injury.

New Beginnings

This morning Andy and I attended a church here in Boerne. First Baptist Boerne to be exact. It is something that has been in the works for a while. You see it is very important to me that Andy be the spiritual leader in our family. I also have been praying to be a more submissive wife. We have discussed it time and time again. In these discussions he has brought up that he isn't being fed at Oak Hills and would like to find a church closer to home and something where he feels connected. And of course this is where I have dug my heels into the ground. I've been at Oak Hills for 13 years. It's been my home, it where our church friend are, I don't want to move.

But lately God has been impressing upon my heart that by doing this I am not allowing Andy to be the spiritual leader and I am not being a submissive wife. How can I expect change if I am not willing to change? Isn't that the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results)? Over and over God is whispering in my ear that by allowing my husband to lead us to a new church will allow him to be the spiritual leader and allow me to be a biblical wife.

Andy had suggested First Baptist before but I always turned it down. I didn't want to attend a doctrine church. I love being at a non-denominational church. Andy would tell me I should be more open minded and at least give it a chance. Many of my friends at BSF also attend First Baptist. So I would already know some people and it would open up the opportunity for Andy and I to meet other couples our age in our community. I did some research and talked to one of them and decided I was willing to give it a chance.

So this morning we got up and got ready. We dropped Lyla off at the nursery. That really pulled at my heart. I've never dropped her off anywhere accept at my parent's house. Leaving her with strangers was a little scary. Then it was off to service. And surprise, surprise we both enjoyed it. They had a contemporary worship and the pastor was great. We both think we'll go back.

So while I'm not big at making new year's resolutions, I am big on making change where change is needed. As you probably remember from my previous post I wanted to be a better wife. Hopefully it will start here. God is calling and I am answering. It's scary to leave a comfortable place, but my family needs to come first. We haven't made any decisions but at least we are keeping an open mind and allowing God to work.

Someone hates me

Tonight Andy wanted to go see a movie after Lyla and I went to bed. I knew it was a bad idea. I thought Tank would keep me up. (Yes, 2 weeks later Tank is still living with us). But, Tank was fine. After a rough night's sleep Sunday night I thought I would fall right to sleep and wake up in the morning rested. Nothing comes that easily. At 12:15AM, 2.5 hours after I went to bed Lyla woke up crying. I got her back to sleep in 10 minutes (I think she was cold) and crawled back in bed. Unfortunately, I was wide awake. I tossed and turned for an hour before finally giving up and decided to curl up on the couch and watch tv until I fell back asleep. Good plan, right? WRONG!!!! It is now 3:30 in the morning and I am still awake. Oh, and did I forget to mention I have to get up at 5:10. I honestly think I'll still be awake when my alarm goes off.

Needless to say I was and am a little (okay a lot) frustrated with Andy. If he had been home then he could have taken care of Lyla and I would still be asleep. Now is it really his fault that I have an awful case of insomnia? No, but it didn't help matters that while I'm up with a crying baby and then wake for the next 3.5 hours and counting, my husband was off enjoying himself at a movie with a friend.

So here I am, dreading Tuesday. It's going to be a long day with only 2.5 hours of sleep. Oh...and the baby is crying again.....nice.

A fresh start

I am so thankful for a new year. 2009 has been a hard year. Now don't get me wrong, it brought me one of the greatest joys of my life, my daughter, but it has still been a rough one.

2009 has been a rough year for my marriage, and one of the hardest years at work. I've received new titles and new attacks. I've watched friends get married and friends get divorced. I've seen people I care about sore to new heights and others crippled by disease. I've learned a clean house doesn't make a happy home. Looking like you have it all together doesn't mean you really have it all together. I've been strong in my faith, and yet have had more moments of weakness than I should. I've learned to be selfless and that I'm still selfish. I've had people exceed my expectations and fail my expectations, but have learned more about those people by both. I've also learned I have been the one to exceed and fail. 2009 has been a year that has brought about more change than I think I was able to handle. It has shown me I can't do it all. 2009 has tried to teach me balance, hopefully 2010 will do better.

In 2010 I want to be a better wife. I want to expect less and smile more. I want to stop planning and start experiencing. I want to find myself in this new person I've become and new roles I've taken on. I want to trust God more and trust myself less. I always fail, He never does. I want to learn to ask for help without judging the work. I want to accept that I will never be the same me I was before I became a mother, but this new me can be even better.

Fresh starts. Fresh starts are good for the soul. Jesus gave fresh starts. In studying Jesus through the book of John I'm learning that it's not about relating to Jesus. It's about learning from Him. It's about trusting Him, believing in Him (even without all the answers), speaking about Him, and making the change. Changing whatever it is that keeps me from Him and moving into a person that is fully dependent on Him.

So here's to 2010. To what it will bring and to what it will teach. Here's to trusting the one with all the answers, and knowing that person isn't me. May you all find happiness, faith and joy in 2010.